Lost and Found
by Padawan Skywalker
Summary: A healthy heart can recover quickly, but his was not healthy. His was broken. And from what he could tell, it would never feel again. Oneshot. SnapeLily. DH spoilers!


Disclaimer: No, I am not J.K. Rowling, although I want to be her for Halloween. :P

A healthy heart can recover quickly, but his was not healthy. His was broken. And from what he could tell, it would never feel again.

Betrayal is a touchy subject. Betrayal cannot be forgiven, it can lead you to do reckless things, and it can even lead to death. He should have known.

But she was everything to him. She had been his best friend, his one true love, his soul mate.

He justified his actions by saying to himself that she left him first, but he failed to admit that it had been his fault. He always gave someone else the blame. It had been James, this time Lily, and ultimately, Voldemort. Never Severus Snape.

To him, Severus Snape could do no wrong. Oh, but wrong could be done to him. Wrong defined his life. He was destined to be alone, a Death Eater, a traitor, a murderer, but it was not his fault.

When he met her son for the first time, things did not go well. He blamed it on the boy. Harry Potter was too much like his father. Dumbledore said differently. He said that "Snape saw what he wanted to see." What was he talking about? Was the old man senile?

As the years went by, a profound hatred grew between Snape and the Boy-Who-Lived, the one Lily died to protect. Snape hated that she had died for this arrogant boy. To him, Harry Potter was a disgrace. Why couldn't Lily have been the one who had survived?

His memory of Lily never faded and he kept his word to help protect her boy, even though he despised him. It was his duty. She would have wanted it. But if Harry ever found out….Snape shuddered.

If he ever found out how much it pained him to look in his eyes, how much it hurt to hate him so much, how much he was risking just to keep Harry safe and alive, he didn't know what he would do.

The sky was dark and the trees were whistling as the wind passed eerily through the Forbidden Forest. Severus Snape slyly wandered through the forest, pondering everything he had done in the last 24 hours, mulling through all the mixed emotions in his mind. It was a shock when he felt his Dark Mark burn. What could Voldemort want from him now?

The encounter was dreadful. Snape felt helpless once again. He knew that these would be his last thoughts before death, but somehow, there was a part of him that felt at peace. His mind was screaming for a quick and painless death. _Please, please…just kill me now. I've waited long enough. _

But fate was to throw him another cruel twist as he felt the fangs thrust through his open neck. Snape screamed in pain. It felt like fire was burning his skin, piercing through every limb, stripping him from both inside and out. _What have I done to deserve this?_

And that's when he realized what he had done. He had led himself to this fate. Everything that had happened in his life had been his choice.

"_Mudblood!"_

"_I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"_

"_They're getting married?" _

"_My Lord, there's been a prophecy."_

"_I---I come with a warning---no, a request---please---"_

"_In---in return?...Anything."_

"_I though…you were going…to keep her….safe…"_

"_I wish…I wish I were dead…"_

And then he appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Snape knew what he had to do. Conjuring up all of the strength he had left, he rasped to the boy, "Take…it…Take…it…"

Finally, the weight was lifted from his conscience. Everything would be found out. Harry Potter could decide on his own what to do with the memories. All would be right. But now, it was time to die.

He needed something though in order to rest in peace. One last request._ Please…please…_ "Look…at…me…" he whispered. As Harry's eyes pierced into Snape's, he died, with his last thought being of his love, Lily Evans.

His heart had been a shattered mess, but now that he was dead, his heart was no longer broken. It needed no more recovery. Things had gone as planned, and now, all would be well.

"Severus…"

Snape smiled, "Lily…"

A/N: Ahhhh! I finished. Yay! This was really depressing to write, so please, please, please leave me a review! I would really appreciate it. : )


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